Who’s the shadow underneath the mask Who’s the sad clown With a knife behind her back Who’s the secret whisperer And the maker of all dreams Who’s the fragile thread That connects present with the past Who’s the conqueror of pain Who is the child hurt and who licks the scars Who’s the voice that never stops As long as time ticks Who’s the watcher behind the tinted glass The true self never dies Covered by dirt and shame it hides It struggles its way through the tides The shadow and the mask The nameless one behind both lies
I hope you know, It's not for you When he cries For his mom, who never cared For his dad, too busy rolling. He's not strong enough to miss you. So when he falls To drugs, To the streets, To strange pussy. He's not falling for you. He falls for his mom. He falls for his dad. He falls for everyone he never had.
I hallucinate a world within myself My mind an overarching membrane My blazing eyes the sun that burns Inwardly, penetrating the air I breathe Perpetrating Personalities both known and hidden I imagine myself a terrifying god I control the very nature of the universe My universe Perfectly apart From complexities that would diffuse the soul Into the chaos of physical existence I hallucinate And I dream for as long as I've been awake My future self no more real than the present Yet seemingly important Seemingly self-aware in its ignorance Who can ever escape this prison This endless wall that curves upon itself Surface smooth and permeable As if only to the things that hurt Vultures spawn from wishful thinking To peck and prod at worm-like memories Can the ego ever break this shell This glass-like structure where all falls apart Maybe it's the rules at fault A self-imposed chemistry of atoms not real I hallucinate a world And with it myself
Unwanted Your very soul feels fouled Stained by what you do not see Labelled for disposal You plead but no love ever comes Unneeded You alone brave the churning seas Always on the brink Loneliness breeds insanity And the world spins backwards Blinded Never taught how to relate Where they end and you begin Paranoia settles in In place of human feeling Unwanted And by yourself you always walk The night sings its lullabies The earth itself puts you to sleep So cold and incredibly ancient Abandoned With no ground under your feet In mercy of wild animals Eaten and beaten You regrow each day more deformed Into the image of your makers So break the tainted chain Tear your dirty skin off Bleed out the hate and the pain Still unwanted Still unneeded Still alone
A lesson about being conscious by Elendurwen, literature
Literature
A lesson about being conscious
When consciousness grasps itself Independently Of the subjective monster of an existence Nothing remains absolute Nothing stays devoid of its power The clarity is disorienting Sharpness of the image Unconditionally stimulating Consciousness is Reality as it will be ever known The very essence of all Subconscious manifestations Time seemingly ends only when it ends And so it is immortal In its self-apprehension A master of this added reality Giving rise to all from within itself “Nothing matters unless it matters to me Nothing happens unless it happens to me I am not a dweller of the world I live inside my own conscious self” “Imprints and illusions Briefly keep touching my imagined shell Never static for a second While the whirlwind of perception Mesmerizes me Into compliance with the physical”
The shell is light gray And bones protrude it all wing-like Disfigured by age and by strife Frail hair have been pulled out And burned down by ghostly beings Liquified brain matter Flows out of me and through me It mixes with downpour of the rain Its stench toxic in the air of dusk I made holes all over my skin To feed nightmares normally hidden from sight Demons and demigods May enter me and leave as they please I watch them without fear Our pact of pain and pleasure sealed with blood My sins give birth to wild animals My mind and dirt have become one Shadows of my darkness conceal the sun My life never-ending My death comes and goes with blink of an eye Hate and anger Love and contempt Emotions too raw to carry names Too human to matter at all
A lesson about letting go by Elendurwen, literature
Literature
A lesson about letting go
Rocks know about the earthly burdens And water speaks about the soul Today I'll learn from the ocean The ancient art of letting go The salty pleasure of having no taste And no eyes to distract the sight In blackened depths dancing slowly With brilliant rays of penetrating light Feeling the strangeness of a nearby shore Exchanging fluids and organisms In misty distance being endless Letting sand fall and sleep below Content with being calm Content with thrusting self angrily upon stone Timeless sea, will you not show me more While I can still comprehend your speech For what lurks inside this human chest Is numbing and not of me at all With face terrible and evil Its twisted heart hungry for control It hoards life and fear like trinkets And breeds them into horrors Monstrosities of hate and devourers of joy Only the shapeless can escape its thrall So I have to shed my own constructed form And become like the waves in motion Not afraid to loose what was once before They tell us we
I cannot trust these muscles To carry me where I need to go When my mind feels so endless Like it could cover mountains and the shore I cannot rely on these lungs To pay for the oxygen I owe As my chest hyperventilates Pushing me away from my core I cannot use my fingers When they tingle, all electric Charged with neural energy Me a battery of chaotic storm I cannot trust my brain To keep itself from spilling out A constant swirl of rotting matter A boiling surface of an agitated mind Will I devour the world Or will it swallow me with no mercy If only I could stop convulsing To make peace with it again
A lesson about boundaries by Elendurwen, literature
Literature
A lesson about boundaries
Even enormous beings give in Sometimes, to be governed by external forces Like waves of the mighty ocean Are thrust around by the whimsical wind But open yourself too wide Dig too many holes in your protective skin And you will leak out cell by cell You'll assimilate into the mass of the others Instead, be just like water Give warmth and re-cycle yourself Die and regrow through souls of the people Who care about you dearly